


All Out Of Love

by islandkate



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Gender Neutral
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 04:49:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9304982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/islandkate/pseuds/islandkate
Summary: In celebration of Self-Insert Month, I dragged this out of mothballs.  It was originally a response to ImaginexHobbit's "Imagine getting drunk in a tavern and singing ‘All Out of Love’ to your favourite member of the Fellowship."





	

 

The first pint was warm and tasted like heaven after so many days on the road. Your feet were tired and they hurt. In fact, everything hurt. It hurt bone deep. You sighed, polished off the pint and set it on the table a little more forcefully than you planned. Unfortunately, Merry and Pippin took that as a challenge and before you knew it, the three of you were drunk, very drunk.

Pippin started a silly drinking song and had the tavern joining in before you noticed Boromir scowling at you. That was just not going to work in the state you currently found yourself. A happy drunk requires happy fellows. "Merry! Pip," a burp interrupted the calling of Pippin's name, which made him laugh so hard he fell off the bench. Gimli frowned and made a disparaging comment about the drinking ability of hobbits, just before passing out on Legolas' shoulder. Undeterred, you staggered toward your target.

Aragon rolled his eyes and made to leave the table when he realized what you were up to, but Boromir caught his wrist. "No, please. I beg you. Do not leave me to this alone." The growing embarrassment in his pleading eyes made Aragorn sit back down beside his friend, but he managed to push the bench back a bit from the table as he did so. Boromir looked at him with a wild betrayed look in his eyes and Aragorn just snickered in his ale. Merry had Pippin back up on the bench and Legolas shook Gimli awake. No one should miss this show.

Navigating the crowded tavern from one end of the fellowship's table to the other had taken longer than you expected and you were quite dizzy by the time you got there. You took a deep breath and plopped yourself into Boromir's lap. "You, my friend," you said, waggling a finger, weaving your head, and breathing very boozy breath right in his face, "need to be happy. Everyone else in here was singing." That may have been an exaggeration, but who cared. "Are you sad that no one sings to you?" Somewhere in the ale-addled recesses of your mind, stories of Denethor's poor parenting swirled with stolen glances and fleeting touches. "Too much soldiering! Not enough loving!"

Boromir was at your mercy.  He had nowhere to go. So when you started singing, all he could do was hold you and blush.

_I'm lying alone with my head on the phone_   
_Thinking of you till it hurts_   
_I know you hurt too but what else can we do_   
_Tormented and torn apart_   
_I wish I could carry your smile and my heart_   
_For times when my life feels so low_   
_It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring_   
_When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know_

"What the blazes is a phone?" He asked, but you silenced him with a finger to his lips and continued.

_I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you_   
_I know you were right believing for so long_   
_I'm all out of love, what am I without you_   
_I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong_

The other members of the fellowship were silent. This was not what they had expected. People at tables nearby were beginning to quiet and listen too.

_I want you to come back and carry me home_   
_Away from these long lonely nights_   
_I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too_   
_Does the feeling seem oh so right_   
_And what would you say if I called on you now_   
_And said that I can't hold on_   
_There's no easy way, it gets harder each day_   
_Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone_

_I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you_   
_I know you were right believing for so long_   
_I'm all out of love, what am I without you_   
_I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong_

The tavern was silent now, save for the sweet sound of your voice and the occasional sniffle. Boromir barely breathed. Suddenly, he stood up, gathering you in his arms. Clearing his throat, he managed a husky, "This one needs to sleep off the drink. I'll take care of it."

You had your arms around his neck now, staring dreamily into his eyes as he carried you, still singing,

_Oh, what are you thinking of?_   
_What are you thinking of?_   
_Oh, what are you thinking of?_   
_What are you thinking of?_

The last set of choruses grew fainter as he carried you away and up the stairs.

_I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you_   
_I know you were right believing for so long_   
_I'm all out of love, what am I without you_   
_I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong_

_I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you_   
_I know you were right believing for so long_

The song ended abruptly with the bang of a roughly closed door.


End file.
